secret getaway

When I was still living with my parents, I've always wondered why my dad would almost always be up by 3 or 4 in the morning even on weekends when my brother and I don't have classes. It's not like he needs 2 or 3 hours to prepare food for us and for mom but he always wakes up at those strange hours.

Now, I have a vague idea why. You see, it's just 4 in the morning and I'm already here in front of my laptop doing absolutely nothing but thinking and posting. I'm not preparing for work yet. I'll probably do that in about an hour and a half from now. I still haven't had my coffee but I'm wide awake and my brain is already quite active. It's really strange waking up this early because I'm quite used to 6AM-wake-ups. But, you know what's even stranger? It's the fact that my head is clear and I can hear my thoughts better than ever.

I guess it's because there's not much to occupy one's mind at these early hours of morning. It's very easy to listen to your own thoughts because there's no work or any other things to distract you from listening. You see, as of the moment, Mateo and Andrea are safely and soundly sleeping beside me without a care in the world. And with work not less than a few hours away, I feel so relaxed and peaceful that it almost feels so surreal. I can hear my thoughts more clearly! I guess that's why my dad likes it so much. It's his very own space and time for himself and for his thoughts. Now I understand! This is his own secret getaway where he could listen to himself, organize his thoughts, and put a perspective on things.

I just hope this means that his wisdom is rubbing off a little on me, because it's either this or insomnia.

still here

It's been nearly a year since I last thought about leaving school to find work somewhere else, but I guess I really didn't have the heart to leave.

So I'm still here, teaching, just like what my heart tells me to do. Of course, it was a huge help that the school gave us a little leeway in our financial dilemmas. But with mateo's growing demands for time and attention, I guess andrea and I are really staying here for good.

So for all my students, you can say goodbye to the idea of me leaving. I'm just not quite sure if that's a good thing for everyone, but yes, I'll be here to stay... Hahaha!

A letter to my students

To my dear students,


Even when I'm not with you anymore, I hope you'll remember that:

The lessons you've learned in between classes are far more important than the lessons you learned during class. The previous makes you a better student while the latter makes you a better person.

No one can tell you what you can or cannot do except you so choose to believe that you can do anything. Challenges may give you pause, but they should not cause you to quit.

Don't be afraid to make fun of yourself sometimes. Laugh at yourself. This will break down the barriers that you subconsciously put up to protect yourself from humiliation. It's okay to make mistakes and be humiliated more than once. Remember, no one expects you to be perfect because no one is.

Never waste opportunities. Don't let pride or fear stop you from experiencing everything that life has to offer. Don't forget. You only get to live once!

Learn to value time. It is just too short to waste on hesitations and what ifs. Before you know it, you won't have any left.

I could go on forever... There are so many things I want you to remember but I guess the most important is - you guys don't forget to enjoy. Enjoy the accomplishments and the triumphs (especially the hard-earned ones). These will provide you with strength to go on during times of hardships. Enjoy the defeats as well, the sorrows and even all the difficulties. These will give you a better sense of appreciation for the what could've been times. Enjoy life no matter what for it is a short enough one-way journey. This way, when you are already on your deathbed, you won't have an ounce of regret. Instead you will have a whole lifetime of joy-filled memories to remember - to relish till your last breath.

to stay or not to stay

For the past few days. I've been busy with catching up... at work and at home. Yet, my mind is constantly pre-occupied with so many other things.

One main concern I keep thinking about is career change. It's already the last leg of the school year and I haven't come to a decision yet. Do I stay or do I look for some other work (something a bit more financially rewarding)? I'm torn between my love for teaching and my responsibilities to my family. Aahhhh! Olats! If only the education industry in the philippines provides the same compensation as the corporate industry... (I guess that's why a lot of educators in the philippines are looking at the prospect of finding a teaching position in the west.)

One more thing - if I decide to change career then there's a big chance that andrea, mateo and I will be moving out of our house to a different location (either closer to work or to our parents). Hay! A lot of things are riding on this one decision. Principles, obligations, love and dedication. Huhuhu! I'm really starting to sound like a blabbering crybaby.

To stay or not to stay - that is the question. Unfortuntely, there's no easy answer.

blog rants

I've looked at several blog templates recently but I still haven't found the right one for me. What I'm trying to find is something that takes up almost the whole width of the page, is composed of only 2 columns, highlights an area for a landscape pic, is plain with just minimal color gradient or maybe just has a monochrome background (not distracting at all), sports a good contrast between the background pix and the posting area, and is HTML newbie-friendly.

So far, most templates I've seen provides very limited space for the posts wasting so much space for plain, boring and unused borders. Makes me wish I could meticulously edit HTML codes. Unfortunately I couldn't.

A plea for aid: Is there anyone out there who knows of a blogger template with the said descriptions oe where I could download one? (Should be free too!) Or who knows how to solve this problem by editing the HTML codes for the template? Any help would surely be appreciated.

lonely 7th anniversary

It has exactly been 7 years since andrea and I hooked up together. And among the 6 annivesary celebrations we've had, I have to say that this year's is one of the most not-so-extravagant we've experienced. All the financial worries are giving us a hard time. In fact, andrea approached me earlier and I could see that she was really feeling down and lonely. She asked me, "don't you feel lonely?". I paused for a while and then I told her...

"A month and seven years ago, I thought I to myself, I want this woman to be my wife. 7 years ago I said I want to live in a place far from the people we know - just me and her. 7 years ago, I told myself she's the one I want to start a family with... Finally I answered her NO! I'm not lonely. Not the least bit. There couldn't possibly be any reason for me to feel lonely. You agreed to marry me. We're living in a house far from our families (that we may not own yet but it still is ours until June). And with Mateo, we're now a family. I may not be the richest man on earth but I am certainly one of the happiest. And that's because you love me!"

And then she stared at me, laid her head on my shoulder and wept silently. It was not the most extravagant celebration of our anniversary but it certainly was one of the most memorable.

farewell thrall

To make room for data and to free up some memory in our laptop, I decided to unistall my warcraft III frozen throne game. I told andrea that it's my way of turning over a new leaf... Now I can't remember why in the world did i make such a decision? Now it's gone.

It has not been a week since I deleted the files and yet I already miss the game. That was the only game I was ever addicted to in college. I also played counterstrike, Jedi Wars, Starcraft and even Battle Realms, but none of these games even interested me enough to make me buy a pirated copy to install in my computer. Only Warcraft III gave me enough excitement and appeal to motivate me into doing that. I was even shortly tempted to buy the original copy just so I can play the battlenet version. (Good thing I didn't) Now it's gone.

Oh well, there's no use crying over spilled milk. I guess I just have to wait for Warcraft IV... Although with the way things are in Blizzard right now, I figure it's going to be a long wait.

Huhu! Goodbye Warcraft! Goodbye Priestess! Farewell Thrall!